2 years. 2 god damn years & still going like a motherfucker! I wish I could say this proud and happy. I'm not. I'm writing in disgust & torment with an utter disappointment. 2 years of my life wasted.
It's karmic, really. Today is Fools Day. A day for jokes and what a joke this relationship turned out to be!
I didn't expect for him to put me first when we were dating. I didn't expect for him to put me first when we were together, or engaged or even now, as a married couple. I do expect him though, to put me first, not on Christmas (which sucked because he worked it) or Easter (which sucked because he worked it) or my B-day (which sucked because he worked it) or his B-day (which sucked because he worked it) or any other god damn day of the year - besides one: today. Every year, on the 1st of April. Guess what happened last year? that's right, he worked it, but promised me (once again, another promise he doesn't keep) that this year it would be different.
We had every thing planned. It's Catholic Easter on Sunday, so on Monday, today - as it is the First day after Easter, it's legally & officially an off-work day. We discussed I had a surprise planned for him 2 weeks ago. He promised we'd have all day to ourselves.
So guess what the first thing waking me up today was? his work phone, ringing, his work-related discussions. When I ask why, the same answer replies over and over again - it's important! Yes, of course it is. It always is important. Then he takes a shower, comes to bed, we cuddle and we start kissing. 15 min of prelude later he comes inside me before I even get to heat up. Then all of a sudden, he needs to pay the bank, take a haircut, visit his colleagues from work and offer some Easter eggs. Fine. I take your promise (knowing you won't keep it) that we'll continue our little sex escapade some hours later today and I leave you to your business. Home alone, again, like mostly always...
I watch some TV, I fall asleep. I wake up 5 hours later and he's still not home. What happened? Got called in a meeting, just riiiight after leaving home. Big project, big boss was there, his other catholic colleague was there as well, etc. All I can hear are excuses. So what does he do to make things up? Nothing. I'm over-reacting. Very likely. I know I am. I have the right to do so, nevertheless - this has been happening for 2 years now. We try to get out, drink a beer, play some darts (hell of a "romantic" date, huh?) and it doesn't work. He just makes me madder and madder until I burst. I want to go home. So we go home. We don't talk. I have a mental break down and start crying hysterically. He shuts up while smoking a cigarette. In the end, he opens his mouth with a raise tone of voice and asks me sarcastically what the fuck my problem is, so I shout back at him to shut the fuck up and not dare to speak another word to me or look me in the eye today. And that I hate him like I never hated anyone in my life.
The End.
