Alone.

I have no one to talk to. This is it - the moment of a not so convenient truth... My soul is doomed of having to be strained from this world and enstranged from any human who'd understand. Even the ones i thought of as friends, even the ones i sleep with, the ones that raised me... even those people have no clue what so ever regarding my true identity. All they see is the seeable, all they hear is my voice, no one understands my inner needs or shape and form.

I am alone here. Constantly called by people, constantly asked questions, never the right ones. Constantly told what to do, constantly informed about the good way i should professionally or personally be, never approached with a useful advice.

I'm all alone here. I guess I've somehow sometime ago chosen to be.

She never has time to see me, she calls me to tell me about her new love, she never has time for me. I get it - too busy with her job, her household plans, her new interest.

He never has the ability to see the real me, he never has time for me, he calls for me only when his needs determine him to, he never communicates with me. I get it - he doesn't love me and never will, he's to fucked up to know how to feel or feel for me.

They usually call me in the week-end when they know I should be free of responsibilities. They need me to be their daughter, to see my face, hear my voice, help out with chores. Can't remember the last time they asked me how I am. I get it - they think I'm fine, I'd tell them otherwise if I wouldn't be, right? Wrong...

I'm so alone. And so tired of being alone. Wish I could laugh again. Just one more time. Just for once more...