Trip to Cucuta - Scene I

Father: Oh! (breathing with relief). I need a new pipe. (a noise like something is opened and then closed). You know, honey, I’m getting tired of this city! I think we should “make a move”! if you know what I mean.
Wife: Yes, you’re right! But, where should we go? We’ve already seen half of the world, we’ve been on the moon and (smiling) we’ve visited the dream world. Do you remember Tooth fairy? Oh, that was great! (the tone of the voice should reveal that they were accomplices to something the Tooth fairy did). Ha ha! Nice skirt!
Father: Yeah! About us… as you’ve said / we’ve seen “half” of the world. Do you remember Jurassic Park? (preoccupied)
Wife: We’ve been there. Oh! (disappointed)
Father: Yeah! What about Alien?
Wife: Been there, too. Sorry…
Father: (very happy) I know! Cucuta!
Wife: (bored and wondering) Cucu-ha?
Father: You know! From the advertising!
Wife: …
Father: (eager to explain) The advertising for edible clothes, for cannibals, on Cucuta, the island! Remember?
Wife: Oh, that! But honey, what about our kids…Drinka and… Eatel? So many dangers!
Father: Oh! We have to do something with them anyway! Maybe this trip will change them! Maybe… But I won’t let my daughter become a nun! It’s enough that she is an alcoholic lesbian! About Eatel, well, he has to start eating. I can take anatomy lessons on his body!
Drinka: (entering the stage) Where is my beloved Titi? Titi? (some whistles can be used like sound effects, meaning that Titi, a very sexy dressed girl, appears on stage after being called. Then:) There you are! (someone has to imitate a loud kiss. Drinka is embarrassed:) Oh! Oh! Not here, let’s go upstairs! (as they flee out of the stage Eatel appears)
Eatel: (acts like he analyses his clothing) Oh, what un ugly shirt I’m whearing! I’d better get it off before someone sees me! (a sound like a tear/he tears off his shirt) That’s better! (goes to a mirror) So--- “homo sapiens” has 24 ribs. 1,2,3… Me, “Homo sapiens Homo”, I have 24 ribs. (satisfied) Yeaaah! (takes a pause. upset) Hey, you, the one from the mirror. Yeah, you! What are you looking at? I mean… (happy) I know… I’m very beautiful, but… (upset again) that’s pri-vate (whispered). Get out! Get out!!! (screaming)
Father: (bored) Oh, no! Eatel! He’s looking in the mirror again…
Wife: I know! We have to get rid of it!
Father: We can give him to the cannibals when we get to Cucuta!
Wife: I was talking about the mirror!
Father: (trying to escape, almost stammering) So was I!
Wife: But… maybe you’re right… after all! (as thinking to herself)
Father: That’s my wife!